architects of the new eschaton

Happy Chinese New Year!

February 15th, 2010 · Uncategorized

2186897509 94b35c6846 199x300 Happy Chinese New Year!

(photo by james.t2 on flickr)

2010 is the year of the tiger, a well-liked sign of excitement and adventure. It is also a metal year according to five-element astrology, which is at odds with the primarily wood/fire nature of the Tiger sign. According to the Chinese, we can expect some struggles this year- in fact many think this year will be downright unlucky because metal is represented by the color white, and white tigers are a bad omen.

Anyone who is interested in what Chinese geomancy has to say about this year for you personally can send me a message with your birthdate, and I’ll check your chart for you. As you may know, I’ve taken an online course in true Feng Shui and need some practice. I intend to take some more classes when I can afford to- the knowledge I’ve acquired already from one class is more than I got from dozens of books and seminars.

Which leads me to where I wanted to go with this post, and what I mean when I say “true Feng Shui”.

Feng Shui has gotten somewhat of a bad and/or crunchy representation here in the US, and seems to be inextricably linked with the New Age community who are famous for appropriating distant cultures and completely choking them of any meaning they once had. The Chinese have made it worse by trying to make a few bucks selling cheap “feng shui” chotchkies. Feng Shui always has, and always will be about observing patterns of changes in relation to geography, time, and magnetic fields, and no lucky bamboo or frogs or coins will change it.

It’s no doubt that the widespread fallacies and mysteries of Feng Shui are due to the fact that, although it has been around for nearly 3,000 years, it used to be a highly secretive collection of knowledge only aristocrats had access to. Most of these groups were separate, and before they started compiling all of the knowledge, many came to different conclusions. Over time it has been tested and refined. In the last forty years the “black hat” or “form school” version has proliferated- in fact, it’s probably 99% of what the US has been exposed to. However, it’s a bastard offspring of real Feng Shui. This style is typified by the one-size-fits-all bagua that looks like this one from the Moongate school:

bagua Happy Chinese New Year!

Now don’t get me wrong- this form of Feng Shui is probably somewhat accurate, and is very loosely similar to the Feng Shui I study. To use a math metaphor, they’re visually estimating three sides of a triangle while I am using proofs and equations to calculate lengths and angles. This method does use a bagua, but it is different because the sectors are only labeled with trigrams (which correspond to numbers and elements).

True Feng Shui is ALWAYS done with a lo-pan compass:

LoPan 300x300 Happy Chinese New Year!

In the center is a magnetic needle which is used to align the grids to north. The center ring is made up of trigrams (identical to those in the I Ching), the second is the moving 9 stars, then the earth plate circle, the later intercardinal points, the 10 heavenly stems, the 12 earthly branches, and on and on and on, including the phases of the moon. I think you can get the point.

There are 2 main categories of Feng Shui- that of graves, and that of buildings. To do a Feng Shui reading for a building, you need to know exactly when it was built, the surrounding geographical features (i.e. trees, rivers, streets, skyscrapers, etc), the compass direction it sits and faces, and the birthdates of each of its inhabitants. Without ALL of this information, you cannot give an accurate reading. From these variables come the solution of probable outcomes. These outcomes will tell you if a house is right for you, what years will produce misfortune, which will be prosperous, the effect the house will have on health, money, conception, accidents, interpersonal relationships, and so on.

A lot of Feng Shui fallacies come from assuming that the outcome applies to ONE variable- i.e.- it is beneficial for Chien signs to paint an east-facing front door red under some circumstances, but even native Asians can mistake this for meaning that red doors are always lucky. The AFSI has been great for sorting out what is tradition and folklore and what is considered real Feng Shui.

A lot of authors, most especially in the US have taken the essential principles of Feng Shui and have extrapolated it into just about anything including how to arrange your desk at work to diets and workouts. All fine and good I suppose, but again, it’s really beyond the scope of real Feng Shui. It’s still better than all the hundreds of books claiming that Feng Shui is basically a superstitious way of decorating your home. Feng Shui has probably fallen prey to this because it is extremely difficult to learn and we live in a society of quick-fixes. Advanced practitioners have reassured me that after years of experience, you can give eerily accurate readings. Intuition has nothing to do with it. Sorry if this is all sounding a little harsh, but it’s hard to be passionate about something with so much misinformation about it going around. This is my attempt to rectify the situation. :)

If you would like to know more, I highly recommend the introductory course at AFSI… accurate, easy to understand, lots of forum help from instructors, and IT’S FREE!

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DIY wedding tips

February 9th, 2010 · Uncategorized

Lately I’ve been so busy working on wedding stuff that I’ve been forgetting that I should probably blog about it too. My husband and I eloped last summer and are planning a bigger, “real” wedding this summer. The elopement was very spontaneous and improvised, and mostly traditional (right down to my Mom frantically making a 2-tier gluten-free wedding cake in one night). This wedding will be everything but.

Since the hubs and I are funding most (if not all) of the wedding, we want to do it on the cheap. But, me, I will settle for nothing less than fabulous but I am talented at making very fabulous things for very little money. So I figure I should share how I am doing it.

First things first- you must get the most basics of basics nailed down- budget, when and where. The hubs and I have been paying for things as we go over about 12 months, so it has been pretty affordable. You don’t have to nail down exact numbers, but think about everything- the venue, transportation, outfits, flowers, and food as you go along and be realistic about what it’s all going to cost and how much you can afford. Start in mind with how many people you plan on being there- 25? 100? 200 or more? Also, keep a journal of everything you do.

TIP #1- DON’T SAY WEDDING. Businesses will tend to charge several times more just by bringing up the “w” word.

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I love the Oregon coast, and best of it all, it’s ALL PUBLIC LAND so, ka-ching, unbeatable ceremony location FOR FREE. All you have to do is a little set-up to claim your space. You can rent meeting halls and such (which would be nice if it rains) for very reasonable rates as well. The Oregon Parks website was very helpful. The one downside to the beach is that it will be very windy, but we plan to have some sort of structure that will A) make it clear where the ceremony is on the public beach and B) provide some wind/rain protection.

For the reception, and accommodations for us and the wedding party, we split the cost of a rental beach house equally between guests- it was dirt cheap (when split 16 ways), has plenty of privacy and space for the reception, is walking distance to the beach and about 20 minutes from the ceremony location. It was not easy to find a rental house that was open to a reception, but thankfully, I found Oregon Beach Vacations who were fine with it as long as we keep the noise down after 10 and don’t park more than six cars at the house, which is another challenge we will soon have to solve. (We will be scouting for nearby public parking when we visit the area next month.) If all else fails, I figure we can rent vans and haul people there in loads.

After a mere $150 deposit, we had our ceremony and reception venues planned. I looked up some nearby hotels and B&B’s to recommend on the invitations, slowly compiled a list, and then made them myself (detailed in the blog entry “DIY wedding invitations”). I saved us some money by having people RSVP by phone or mail- also worked out because I had a lot more additional info to give (i.e. it’s a beach, but don’t bring your swimming suit… a windbreaker is probably a better idea).

Once the logistical stuff was done, it was on to the most fun parts- my dress, jewelry, etc.

DRESS!
I have never, ever, EVER dreamed of a princessy white wedding dress. I wanted something far more exotic and interesting. The hubs proposed to me in an Indian restaurant, and I have always been keenly fascinated by Indian fashion and weddings. So, with the most deep respect a white girl can muster I chose to be a traditional Indian bride, and have my bridesmaids wear saris. I mean, JUST LOOK at how gorgeous this stuff is! The groomsmen will not be dressed in kurtas- I want the hubs to do his own thing and since we have an eclectic thing going already (beach wedding, Persian food, buddhist/athiest ceremony) I figure we should run with it. I’m hoping he does Vaudeville or superheroes or something.

I chose this as my inspiration- a traditional wedding outfit known as a lehenga choli. I ordered a sari from India that was very inexpensive, bought a $20 white ball gown on clearance at Ross, an ornate table runner from a fair-trade store, and dozens of sequin appliques from eBay, and went to town with my scissors and sewing machine. In the end, I’ve assembled a spectacular rendition of that $2700 outfit for less than $300. And most importantly, it’s one of a kind. I also designed it to come apart so all of that beautiful sequin work can make a gorgeous wallhanging. The idea of this dress sitting in a closet for the rest of my life is tragic.

Concurrently, I searched for the perfect jewelry, and found great stuff from Indian sellers on eBay. Authentic and surprisingly affordable- bridal Kundan necklace & earring sets, and of course- BANGLES! I will be having a traditional Hindu bachelorette party- henna! An amazing artist lives here in Portland- Silk & Stone.

I’m sure any look can be found on eBay, no matter how unique. My stepsister purchased her wedding dress from eBay and paid less than $100, and it was custom fitted and looked like it cost 5 times as much.

As for shoes- as much as I love them, I won’t be wearing any… I want to feel the sand in my toes.

FOOD
I’ve been to quite a few weddings that I’m sure the couple spent hundreds or thousands on catering only for guests to unenthusiastically pick apart dry ham, frozen broccoli, or mystery meatballs. I figure the DIY spirit is to find someone who does food well in large quantities and wants to cook it for your event. My boss was the perfect candidate- he loves to cook highly involved traditional Persian food, and always makes way too much. I figure I will supplement his exotic food with some giant foil packs of potatoes, corn and seafood that can steam easily on the BBQ at the rental home and have some inexpensive but delicious snacks like hummus and veggies to have on hand.

As for the cake, I’m not planning on having a structured reception- and no cake ritual (we did that when we eloped!). Cupcakes are the winner here- they don’t need to be cut or served, and your guests can eat them when they like. A friend recently made me some bitchin’ root beer cupcakes, so I’m thinking of doing a soda theme- root beer float, cherry coke, and orange cream.

With a casual approach to food, you can avoid all of the costs of table settings, placemarkers, favors (I’ll have guests comb the beach for their own wedding favors) and I doubt they will really be missed.

FLOWERS
Considering we will have such a beautiful setting, I really feel any decorative stuff should be very minimal. At first, I didn’t want flowers at all, but our house has such ample garden space that a bed of marigolds seemed more than reasonable. They are such a huge part of Indian weddings, and I’ve seen many creative uses for them, like this parasol from Monsoon Wedding:

marigolds 300x205 DIY wedding tips

Haven’t decided how I will use them yet, but at the very least, they can be tossed around.

The hubs and I still have to write the ceremony itself, but it will be some amalgam of handwritten vows, Discordian hijinks, some ritualistic and meaningful gesture, and maybe the traditional Hindu hand-tying. I also want the wedding procession to be in two single-file lines- the groom’s side and the bride’s side somehow circling in together. And I want it to be bright and noisy, hopefully some drums or the like.

The main thing I keep reminding myself, and offer as the best piece of advice is to think it all out, but let the event unfold as it will. It will not be perfect- some things may go wrong. Just remember to relax, have fun, and don’t be afraid to delegate. You will have plenty of people who are there to help!

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DIY Wedding Invitations

January 4th, 2010 · Uncategorized

100 1284 300x224 DIY Wedding Invitations100 1282 300x224 DIY Wedding Invitations100 1281 300x224 DIY Wedding Invitations

I went to the local scrapbooking and paper store, just to check out what they had… and ended up coming home with $100 worth of invitation supplies, which were of course, all ON SALE! You could definitely spend less, but I just *had* to have the fancy Hambly paper. If you insist on not spending a lot on invitations (custom ones would cost well over $200!) but don’t mind doing several hours of work and also want them to look amazing and not cookie-cutter, then this is the project for you.

000 0168 224x300 DIY Wedding Invitations

What you will need for 100 invitations:
-a cutting mat
-a paper cutter (mine was cheap and available in most craft stores)
-35 sheets of 12′x12′ scrapbook paper (I used Hambly’s vintage circle, highly recommended!)
get 35 instead of 33 so you have a little room for error.
-1 package (100 sheets) of coordinating 8.5′x11′ 81 lb. text paper (I used stardream, which has an incredible shimmer).
-2 50 ct. packs of A-2 (or 4.25′x5.75′) envelopes
-36 yds. of copper foil tape, or 1/4 inch decorative tape (copper foil tape is sold in glass working supplies)
-archival glue stick

To Begin:
Cut the 12′x12′ scrapbook paper into six pieces, each 4′x5.5′:
000 0169 150x150 DIY Wedding Invitations000 0170 150x150 DIY Wedding Invitations

Next, cut out a semi-circle (along the egde of the vintage circle paper) from the MIDDLE TWO 4×5.5 pieces, plus ONE more 4×5.5 piece, leaving the other 3 to be made into outer sleeves:

000 0172 300x224 DIY Wedding Invitations

If you did not use this paper and want to cut out another shape, go for it- work *with* the design! The left side is going to be glued on the half sheet as a header, the right side is going to be an attached insert with additional info. You will get three of each of these per page, though one will not have the same design running through it- I like this though, it adds a unique touch to each one. Separate them into piles of headers and inserts.

At this point, if you will be printing the text yourself you will want to cut one piece of the 8.5×11′ paper in half, and attach the header. My husband did this part- he scanned the half sheet with the header and used it to used it to build text boxes in a design program. You can use this as a test sheet.

000 0175 224x300 DIY Wedding Invitations

Next, you will be cutting the outer sleeves. Take the remaining 3 4×5.5′ pieces, and cut along the circle (or any other cut you choose). The idea here is that you will attach a small piece to the back of the bigger piece to make a pocket to slide the invitation into:

000 0176 300x224 DIY Wedding Invitations

Flip the small piece onto the back of the bigger piece. Slide it over so you can attach the decorative tape on the outer edges:

000 0182 300x224 DIY Wedding Invitations

Cut the tape, then fold the tape in half and attach it to the back of the bigger piece. Flip both pieces over, and secure tape to the front:

000 0183 300x224 DIY Wedding Invitations

Do this for both edges of the small piece. Continue this sequence with the rest of the sheets of 12′x12′ paper- you should get 3 headers, 3 inserts, and 3 sleeves from each sheet. Separate them into piles as you work. This is definitely the most time consuming part.

After the cutting and taping is finished, you’ll want to print out all your text on the 8.5×11 sheets of paper, AND all of the inserts (RSVP info, accommodations, gift registry, etc). You can do this at home with a scanner, printer, and program like Photoshop or GIMP. Just make sure you leave room for the header and do 2 per sheet on the 8.5×11 paper. For the inserts, use a 3×5 envelope setting. You can also go to a print/copy shop, but this will cost more.

000 0173 300x224 DIY Wedding Invitations 000 0175 150x150 DIY Wedding Invitations

Once your sheets are all printed, use the paper cutter to cut each one in half. Next, glue the header on with a glue stick. Now, fold each half sheet in half and use more copper tape to attach the inserts.

Make sure you tape them so the text is on the inside of the invitation, so when you fold it out, you can read it:

100 1280 150x150 DIY Wedding Invitations100 1281 150x150 DIY Wedding Invitations100 1282 150x150 DIY Wedding Invitations

Fold the invitation and slide the sleeve over the top left edge. This may take a little effort- the corners may be a little tight. Slide the invitation into the envelope with the copper foil at the top. This will make it easier to pull out. Now they are ready to send!

I was very happy with the way these turned out, and loved the paper so much I saved a few sheets of the 12′x12′ paper to make some sort of scrapbook with. But best of all was getting compliments on how great they looked!

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Peppermint Bark Brownies

December 13th, 2009 · Uncategorized

000 0150 300x224 Peppermint Bark Brownies

Painlessly easy (although it does involve some waiting), and so good you won’t want to share!

000 0134 Peppermint Bark Brownies

YOU WILL NEED:
-a 9X9 pan of your favorite brownie. I’m gluten intolerant, and find the premix bags make my life easier, so I used that. I’m rather fond of Arrowhead Mill’s brownie mix- some people didn’t believe me that it was gluten-free- EXACTLY what you want. Not rubbery or dry like others. I mean you, Trader Joe’s.
-peppermint extract
-a box of peppermint candy canes
-1 1/2 cups of dark chocolate chips
-1 cup of white chocolate chips

Step 1: Bake brownies according to package (or recipe) and ADD 1 tsp of peppermint extract. Allow them to cool FULLY. (I let them cool overnight.)

Step 2: Put dark chocolate chips in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave for 45 seconds. Stir. Repeat until chocolate just melts. Don’t try to cheat and put it in for 2 minutes, you will fry the chocolate into nuclear nuggets.

If you are anti-microwave, you can use the French method- heat water in the bottom of a double boiler- pour chocolate into top and stir until melted.

000 0138 Copy Peppermint Bark Brownies

Smooth melted chocolate evenly over the top of the brownies using a rubber spatula. Let it cool for at least ONE HOUR in the fridge.

000 0142 Peppermint Bark Brownies

Step 3: While chocolate is cooling, unwrap the candy canes, and place them into something sturdy like a paper bag. Take a hammer and smash the candy canes. Now is a good time to release any pent up holiday anger. Check the pieces for consistent size- you may need to smash some more. After ONE HOUR, check the brownies and give the chocolate a little tap make sure the chocolate is rock hard. If not, refrigerate it some more.

Step 4: Melt the white chocolate chips the same as the dark chocolate. Spread evenly with a rubber spatula- work quickly to avoid melting the dark chocolate below. Sprinkle the candy cane bits over the white chocolate, and press lightly with your hands. Let them cool at room temperature for about 20 minutes, then slice with a sharp knife. The peppermint bark may not break evenly, but you should be able to cut some nice squares regardless.

000 0144 1 Peppermint Bark Brownies

YUM!! And kicks the crap out of cookies.

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Surrealestate revived & the Parlour

November 22nd, 2009 · Uncategorized

Sorry I haven’t updated in awhile. My laptop has been on the verge of dying- running at a crawl and randomly losing the wireless card completely. Oddly enough, I accidentally slammed it on the coffee table and now it works fine. Heh.

IMAG0097 300x200 Surrealestate revived & the Parlour

I have been knitting a ton- mostly for my vendor table at the Parlour. Tons of colors of kitty hats, some new exciting arm & hand warmers, more jellyfish and octopuses. Or octopi, either is correct. All of these are also available in my etsy store.

13353 300x200 Surrealestate revived & the Parlour
(photo by vivian johnson for the willamette weekly)

The Parlour launch has gone exceedingly well, including this awesome write-up in the Willamette Weekly. I’m not sure about their beef with the sound system, I think it is great. The best part has been seeing all my friends come together and have a place to showcase their diverse and quirky talents.

My husband performed at the Halloween Show there and will be releasing a dark ambient album (featuring the tracks he played) soon.

Also coming soon is a tutorial on handmade wedding invitations and my first custom colorwork project- a baby pillow with a airbrush flame motif. :)

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Pewter Waves Fingerless Mitts

October 18th, 2009 · Uncategorized

100 1270 224x300 Pewter Waves Fingerless Mitts 100 1273 224x300 Pewter Waves Fingerless Mitts 000 0097 300x224 Pewter Waves Fingerless Mitts

I designed this pattern for the intermediate knitter- it uses simple cable and slip stitches and is easy to memorize. Works up quickly, it’s nice and stretchy, woo hoo, no more chilly hands. :) Comment below with any questions or concerns.

To purchase pattern, click here:

pixel Pewter Waves Fingerless Mitts

Finish the checkout through paypal, which should then prompt you back to primesurrealestate.com to an online PDF file. Feel free to print this out. If you don’t get linked to the page, don’t worry, just let me know and I will send it to you via email within 24 hours.

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EsoZone 2009

October 12th, 2009 · Uncategorized

3999669993 2326c3148b 300x225 EsoZone 2009

(photos bylion42)

Well, another EsoZone has come and went. This year, the intention was to keep all the good parts and improve what was lacking last year- interaction. Once again, the Watershed came through with more than enough space and filth for everyone. Luckily, there was far less preparation going in. Adam, Klint, and I were able to handle it ourselves pretty easily.

4000399442 9908d3e517 300x225 EsoZone 2009

The unconference format translated very well. Last year, there were a lot of interesting ideas floating around, but sitting in a folding chair for hours on end was excrutiating. This year, it was all about creating and moving more than ideas. Garrett’s workshop on Hyatt’s self-deconstruction, another on altar building, and a collaborative comic book that got most the eventgoers so energized and buzzed we had to start turning lights out to get people to go home. :) Last year, they were so drained our music acts played to nearly empty rooms.

The next morning, the event got off to a very, VERY slow start. Doors opened at 11, but by noon when the sessions began, there a was barely a participant to be found. I’m used to tech events that start at nine a.m, but the EsoZone crowd seems to be quite nocturnal. One of the best features about unconferences was that we easily solved this by moving the sessions to later time slots and waited for people to trickle in. Saturday was the day of the big presentations- the ones my friends and I have been preparing for months.

First was Nick Pell’s motherfucker tantra. I, unfortunately, got sent out on an errand and missed most of it. Hopefully he will post some notes! The day gained speed with a session on electronic beats as invocation; meanwhile, in the lounge, once again we did the “impossible”- cramming 25 Discordians into a single room. Perhaps our angle this year, as Johnny Brainwash suggested, we should take a break freak-izing the mandane and give mundaning the freaks a try. He also notified us that since Discordianism is still officially dead, any work we do in the name of Eris happens in the underworld.

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At this point, the event turned pretty introspective as frater zir led us to the Eztral Temple accompanied by the Psychetect’s binaural soundscapes. It was exactly what I needed to calm my nerves before doing my own presentation on fringe psychotherapy. Nick Pell rounded out the afternoon with a session on self-rebuilding with tarot and sex magic. I missed this one as well, hoping to snag a few more sales before the event was through. Outside, people got their fight on with Mu Ryu:

3999661821 35e543df4b 300x225 EsoZone 2009

And then… it was on to the Subgenius Devival!

Thanks to everyone who came and co-created this event. It would have been nothing without you. :)

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Amigurumi octopus & another squid.

October 4th, 2009 · Uncategorized

000 0086 224x300 Amigurumi octopus & another squid.

These guys will see you at EsoZone. Patterns will be coming soon.

Zeroing in on my presentation. Can’t give much away, but it should be fun. Here’s a tidbit from the Wikipedia entry on Gestalt Therapy:

“In field theory, self is a phenomenological concept, and is a comparison with ‘other’. Without other there is no self, and how I experience other is inseparable from how I experience self. The continuity of selfhood (personality functioning) is something achieved rather than something inherent “inside” the person, and has its advantages and disadvantages. At one end of the spectrum, there is not enough self-continuity to be able to make meaningful relationships or to have a workable sense of who I am. In the middle, personality is a loose set of ways of being that work for me, commitments to relationships, work, culture and outlook, always open to change where I need to adapt to new circumstances, or just want to try something new. At the other end, it is a rigid defensive denial of the new and spontaneous. I act in stereotyped ways, and either induct other people to act in particular and fixed ways towards me; or I redefine their actions to fit with the fixed stereotypes.

In Gestalt therapy then, the approach is not the self of the client being helped or healed by the fixed self of the therapist, but the exploration of the co-creation of self and other in the here-and-now of the therapy. There is not the assumption that the client will act in all other circumstances as he or she does in the therapy situation. However, the areas that cause problems will be either the lack of self definition leading to chaotic or psychotic behaviour, or the rigid self definition in some area of functioning that denies spontaneity and makes dealing with particular situations impossible. Both of these show very clearly in the therapy, and can be worked with in the relationship with the therapist.

The experience of the therapist is also very much part of the therapy: since we are co-creating our self-other experiences, the way I experience being with the client is significant information about how the client experiences themselves. The proviso here is that I as therapist am not operating from my own fixed responses, and this is why Gestalt therapists are required to undertake significant therapy of their own during training.

From the perspective of this theory of self, neurosis can be seen as fixed predictability—a fixed Gestalt, and the process of therapy can be seen as facilitating the client to become unpredictable, really, more responsive to what is in the client’s present environment, rather than responding in a stuck way to past introjects or other learning. If the therapist is working from some theory of how the client should end up, this defeats the aim of the therapy.”

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Amigurumi Jellyfish & Squid

September 23rd, 2009 · Uncategorized

Will post a pattern eventually, but now that I have all this free practice in, this one will cost a small fee.

This is what I accomplished on my sick day:

100 1243 Amigurumi Jellyfish & Squid

100 1246 Amigurumi Jellyfish & Squid

100 1250 Amigurumi Jellyfish & Squid

These will be sold @ EsoZone and the pattern will soon be available here.

Crochet is amazing. I wish I didn’t have to work, who knows what I could accomplish.

Well, here’s to hoping my fever/cold gets better. :)

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Ultimate Northwest Hoodie Pattern

September 17th, 2009 · Uncategorized

P2170018 Ultimate Northwest Hoodie Pattern

This project started awhile back- before I left Saint Louis, really. I wanted one of those really posh sweaters from Urban Outfitters or Anthropologie, but I wanted to knit it myself, AND from clearance dollar-a-skein, yet still alluring yarn. The sweater this is based on is long gone, but it has my seven favorite features: a hood, 3/4 sleeves, an empire waist, flattering ribbing, lace to naturally emphasize the bust, cardigan style, and giant buttons.

Because of its features, it’s also the perfect companion to all those dreary, drizzling northwest days. And it only cost $12 to make. Whoo hoo!

MATERIALS:
-8 balls of Yarn Bee Icelandic Jewels in Black Pearl (or approx. 1025 yds of comparable heavy worsted weight wool)
-2 large buttons
-sewing needle, matching thread
-2 size 10 1/2 straight needles or one 24′-36′ circular needle
-2 size 5 DPN’s (for I-cord)

GAUGE:
20 sts = 5.5′, so approx. 4 sts per inch. Pattern designed for medium size (32′-36′ waist/bust). Large and extra large follow in parentheses. The cardigan design is pretty forgiving, if in doubt go down one size.

swtrfront Ultimate Northwest Hoodie Pattern
FRONT:
LEFT SIDE: Cast on 40 (48, 52) stitches.
Row 1: knit 1, purl 1. Repeat to last stitch.
Rows 2 & 4: work stitches as they appear.
Row 3: knit 1, purl 1. Repeat until two stitches remain, p2tog.
Repeat these four rows 8 times, total of 32 rows. Should measure about 8 inches.
Work the next six rows in stockinette (knit RS, then purl WS) leaving a selvage of 4 (6, 8 ) sts of 1X1 ribbing on each edge.
LACE PATTERN:
Row 37: k1, p1 (repeat these two sts 3x for L, 4x for XL), k2, *k2tog, k3, YO, k1, YO, k3, k2tog* (repeat *-* once more), p2, k1, p1 (repeat last 2 sts 3x, 4x).
Row 38 (and all even rows): work stitches as they appear.
Row 39: k1 , p1, (repeat these 2 sts 3x, 4x), k2, *k2tog, k2, YO, k3, YO, k2, k2tog* (repeat *-* once more), p2, k1, p1 (repeat last 2 sts 3x, 4x, cont for each even row).
Row 41: k1 , p1, (X3, X4) k2, *k2tog, k1, YO, k5, YO, k1, k2tog* (repeat *-*), p2, k1, p1 (X3, X4).
Row 43: k1, p1, (X3, X4) k2, *YO, k3, k2tog, k1, k2tog, k3, YO* (rep *-*), p2, k1, p1 (X3, X4).
Row 45: k1, p1, (X3, X4) k2, *k1, YO, k2, k2tog, k1, k2tog, k2, YO, k1* (rep *-*), p2, k1, p1 (x3, x4).
Row 47: k1, p1, (x3, x4) k2, *k2, YO, k1, k2tog, k1, k2tog, k1, YO, k2* (rep *-*), p2, k1, p1 (x3, x4).
Repeat rows 37-48 for rows 49-60.

BEGIN RAGLAN DECREASES:
RS- knit across row until 2 stitches remain; k2tog.
WS- purl.
Continue for 22 more rows (24 rows total); BO. Piece should measure about 21 inches.

FOR RIGHT FRONT:
Repeat, EXCEPT-
1. For rows 1-32, you will decreasing (ppso) at the BEGINNING of rows 3, 7, 10, 14, etc.
2. For rows 60-84, decrease (ppso) at the BEGINNING of all even rows.

swtrback Ultimate Northwest Hoodie Pattern
BACK:
Cast on 80 (84, 88 ) sts.
Row 1: k1, p1, repeat until end.
Row 2: work sts as they appear.
Row 3: psso, p1, k1, p1, repeat until 2 sts remain, p2tog.
Row 4: work sts as they appear.
Work rows 1-4 8 times, 32 rows total.
Row 33: knit
Row 34: purl
Repeat for rows 35-60.
Begin working raglan decreases. Decrease at the beginning and end of each knit row of RS, purl the WS. Repeat until row 74.
Begin short rows. Knit 12 sts, wrap & turn, purl. k9, w&t, purl. k6, w&t, purl. k3, w&t, purl.
Bind off as you knit the next row (across entire top of sweater back). Begin short rows on the last 12 sts, same as the first side. Bind off last 3 stitches. Piece should measure about 22 inches.

swtrsleeve Ultimate Northwest Hoodie Pattern
SLEEVE:
Cast on 30 (34, 38) sts.
Row 1: k1, p1, repeat.
Row 2 & all even rows: work sts as they appear.
Row 3: m1, knit made stitch, p1, repeat to last stitch, m1.
Repeat rows 1-4 5 times, total of 20 rows.
Row 21: knit
Row 22: purl
Row 23: m1, knit to last st, m1
Row 24: purl.
Repeat until piece measures the length from a few inches above the wrist to the crease of your armpit- number of rows is not significant.
Begin working raglan decreases. Work stockinette, decreasing one stitch at the beginning AND end of every other row (RS is easiest). Continue until raglan edge on sleeve is equal to raglan edge of the front/back pieces.

At this point, you should start pinning everything together and sew seams. (For tips on good seams, go here.) You may need to sew up the shoulder (closer to the neck) a bit- I did. :) The shoulders can droop a little bit- no worries, the hoodie will fix this. Once you are finished sewing the pieces together, take a measurement of the entire neckline. This will be Magical Number X.

swtrhood Ultimate Northwest Hoodie Pattern
HOODIE:
(Now… I like my hoods BIG. Nothing is worse than a wimpy hoodie that looks like a swim cap. If you happen to not agree, cast on less sts.)
Cast on 100 sts. Work 8 rows of 1X1 ribbing. Continue until piece measures HALF of Magical Number X. Bind off loosely. With rib sts at the top, fold finished rectangle in half (widthwise), and sew the two bottom edges together. VOILA! Hood! But… if you’re like me and don’t want to look like an elf, you can take that sharp pointy corner at the top and fold it down into a triangle INSIDE the hood. Stitch along the folded edge, and then inside along both sides of the triangle. Much better. :) Next, sew your hoodie onto the neckline of your sweater.

P2170023 Ultimate Northwest Hoodie PatternNow it’s button time.

Using size 5 DPNs, knit an I-cord 3 sts wide and two times longer than your button is wide (Tutorial here.) Make 2 of these- one for each button. Now, put your sweater back on and pin the buttons and I-cords where they look best. Sew them on with a thread and needle.

Finished!

P2170026 Ultimate Northwest Hoodie Pattern

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