Lately I’ve been so busy working on wedding stuff that I’ve been forgetting that I should probably blog about it too. My husband and I eloped last summer and are planning a bigger, “real” wedding this summer. The elopement was very spontaneous and improvised, and mostly traditional (right down to my Mom frantically making a 2-tier gluten-free wedding cake in one night). This wedding will be everything but.

Since the hubs and I are funding most (if not all) of the wedding, we want to do it on the cheap. But, me, I will settle for nothing less than fabulous but I am talented at making very fabulous things for very little money. So I figure I should share how I am doing it.

First things first- you must get the most basics of basics nailed down- budget, when and where. The hubs and I have been paying for things as we go over about 12 months, so it has been pretty affordable. You don’t have to nail down exact numbers, but think about everything- the venue, transportation, outfits, flowers, and food as you go along and be realistic about what it’s all going to cost and how much you can afford. Start in mind with how many people you plan on being there- 25? 100? 200 or more? Also, keep a journal of everything you do.

TIP #1- DON’T SAY WEDDING. Businesses will tend to charge several times more just by bringing up the “w” word.

I love the Oregon coast, and best of it all, it’s ALL PUBLIC LAND so, ka-ching, unbeatable ceremony location FOR FREE. All you have to do is a little set-up to claim your space. You can rent meeting halls and such (which would be nice if it rains) for very reasonable rates as well. The Oregon Parks website was very helpful. The one downside to the beach is that it will be very windy, but we plan to have some sort of structure that will A) make it clear where the ceremony is on the public beach and B) provide some wind/rain protection.

For the reception, and accommodations for us and the wedding party, we split the cost of a rental beach house equally between guests- it was dirt cheap (when split 16 ways), has plenty of privacy and space for the reception, is walking distance to the beach and about 20 minutes from the ceremony location. It was not easy to find a rental house that was open to a reception, but thankfully, I found Oregon Beach Vacations who were fine with it as long as we keep the noise down after 10 and don’t park more than six cars at the house, which is another challenge we will soon have to solve. (We will be scouting for nearby public parking when we visit the area next month.) If all else fails, I figure we can rent vans and haul people there in loads.

After a mere $150 deposit, we had our ceremony and reception venues planned. I looked up some nearby hotels and B&B’s to recommend on the invitations, slowly compiled a list, and then made them myself (detailed in the blog entry “DIY wedding invitations”). I saved us some money by having people RSVP by phone or mail- also worked out because I had a lot more additional info to give (i.e. it’s a beach, but don’t bring your swimming suit… a windbreaker is probably a better idea).

Once the logistical stuff was done, it was on to the most fun parts- my dress, jewelry, etc.

DRESS!
I have never, ever, EVER dreamed of a princessy white wedding dress. I wanted something far more exotic and interesting. The hubs proposed to me in an Indian restaurant, and I have always been keenly fascinated by Indian fashion and weddings. So, with the most deep respect a white girl can muster I chose to be a traditional Indian bride, and have my bridesmaids wear saris. I mean, JUST LOOK at how gorgeous this stuff is! The groomsmen will not be dressed in kurtas- I want the hubs to do his own thing and since we have an eclectic thing going already (beach wedding, Persian food, buddhist/athiest ceremony) I figure we should run with it. I’m hoping he does Vaudeville or superheroes or something.

I chose this as my inspiration- a traditional wedding outfit known as a lehenga choli. I ordered a sari from India that was very inexpensive, bought a $20 white ball gown on clearance at Ross, an ornate table runner from a fair-trade store, and dozens of sequin appliques from eBay, and went to town with my scissors and sewing machine. In the end, I’ve assembled a spectacular rendition of that $2700 outfit for less than $300. And most importantly, it’s one of a kind. I also designed it to come apart so all of that beautiful sequin work can make a gorgeous wallhanging. The idea of this dress sitting in a closet for the rest of my life is tragic.

Concurrently, I searched for the perfect jewelry, and found great stuff from Indian sellers on eBay. Authentic and surprisingly affordable- bridal Kundan necklace & earring sets, and of course- BANGLES! I will be having a traditional Hindu bachelorette party- henna! An amazing artist lives here in Portland- Silk & Stone.

I’m sure any look can be found on eBay, no matter how unique. My stepsister purchased her wedding dress from eBay and paid less than $100, and it was custom fitted and looked like it cost 5 times as much.

As for shoes- as much as I love them, I won’t be wearing any… I want to feel the sand in my toes.

FOOD
I’ve been to quite a few weddings that I’m sure the couple spent hundreds or thousands on catering only for guests to unenthusiastically pick apart dry ham, frozen broccoli, or mystery meatballs. I figure the DIY spirit is to find someone who does food well in large quantities and wants to cook it for your event. My boss was the perfect candidate- he loves to cook highly involved traditional Persian food, and always makes way too much. I figure I will supplement his exotic food with some giant foil packs of potatoes, corn and seafood that can steam easily on the BBQ at the rental home and have some inexpensive but delicious snacks like hummus and veggies to have on hand.

As for the cake, I’m not planning on having a structured reception- and no cake ritual (we did that when we eloped!). Cupcakes are the winner here- they don’t need to be cut or served, and your guests can eat them when they like. A friend recently made me some bitchin’ root beer cupcakes, so I’m thinking of doing a soda theme- root beer float, cherry coke, and orange cream.

With a casual approach to food, you can avoid all of the costs of table settings, placemarkers, favors (I’ll have guests comb the beach for their own wedding favors) and I doubt they will really be missed.

FLOWERS
Considering we will have such a beautiful setting, I really feel any decorative stuff should be very minimal. At first, I didn’t want flowers at all, but our house has such ample garden space that a bed of marigolds seemed more than reasonable. They are such a huge part of Indian weddings, and I’ve seen many creative uses for them, like this parasol from Monsoon Wedding:

Haven’t decided how I will use them yet, but at the very least, they can be tossed around.

The hubs and I still have to write the ceremony itself, but it will be some amalgam of handwritten vows, Discordian hijinks, some ritualistic and meaningful gesture, and maybe the traditional Hindu hand-tying. I also want the wedding procession to be in two single-file lines- the groom’s side and the bride’s side somehow circling in together. And I want it to be bright and noisy, hopefully some drums or the like.

The main thing I keep reminding myself, and offer as the best piece of advice is to think it all out, but let the event unfold as it will. It will not be perfect- some things may go wrong. Just remember to relax, have fun, and don’t be afraid to delegate. You will have plenty of people who are there to help!